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:iconsarasaeed95: More from SaraSaeed95


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Submitted on
November 24, 2013
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Don't worry little girl
I'm not so far
I'm just beside your cold empty bed
I'm between the papers of your private book inside your dresser
You never forget me
I know you think of me constantly
You know you want me
You always hide me in the dark
And keep me in the silence
Because you don't want nobody to know about me
Or about our bloody secret
Yes bloody..
You know you want to take me
You hear me calling for you
You like my sound when I fall on the ground like the fine steel I am
You want me to give you pain I know
Just pick me up
I promise
I will be gentle, slip softly
And fast, you won't feel the hard pain
You know you want to feel me cutting under each thin layer of your skin
Come on
Fill your filthy desire with me
I'm shiny with odd shape
Rusty with rotten blood stains on my edges
Sharp and all you want to comfort your dead soul with
Don't be scared, for all you want is to feel numb
And I can make you feel good and lost
As you are always walking confused in your own dark and cloudy world
And when you see those pretty little blood drips rolling rolling rolling..
Leaving long deep crimson lines behind
And when they drop on the ground
Splash
One after one
Then they start to run faster
Drip drip drip
As if you feel your life been shattered on the bathroom floor along with their every fall
Look what I can do to you
Silly silly broken heart
Look down at the beautiful and fresh wounds
Look at the tearing flesh within
Isn't it scary, yet good?
Now cry cry, now laugh, like the psycho you are
You can just open your skin again
And make all your sins and shames flow out of the cuts
All of them
Until your body is covered with regrets and burns
And the ugly past that will never leave your mind
Keeping it foggy and static
Now, just rest me on your skin, and stare
At the red picture we painted
Until your crying eyes feel sleepy and heavy
And just, hide me again back in your dresser...
I was a little confused for a title for this
This is just how I feel being said in my mind when I think about my razor that I'm hiding in my private book and putting it inside my dresser, don't wanna say much...

Comments please?..
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:iconmiriagreyhaven:
MiriaGreyhaven Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is frighteningly accurate... 
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:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Well thanks :)
Reply
:iconmiriagreyhaven:
MiriaGreyhaven Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My pleasure!
Reply
:iconjakfan15:
Jakfan15 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
cool poem, i hope everything is ok. :hug:
you've got me if you need to talk okie?
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks Kai :)
Reply
:iconjakfan15:
Jakfan15 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thats what friends are for!
Reply
:icongrimmzimm:
grimmzimm Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I understand all to well how you feel. This hits home for me for I am the same way.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I'm sorry you feel like that too..it's really hard
Reply
:icongrimmzimm:
grimmzimm Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Yes, yes it is. Especially when you feel all alone. The hardest part for me, and most, is feeling so alone and ashamed to tell those that love them.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I feel alone all my time, literally don't have friends anymore..it just kills me when I look for a hug and don't find anyone there, I never had real friends in real life
Reply
:icongrimmzimm:
grimmzimm Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Traditional Artist

-hugs you gently- I understand completely, I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I don't ever have anyone to just hug, they all say it's annoying when I try to.

Too never have hugs, or gentle words is a pain that should never be endured. The utter loneliness despite others standing RIGHT there. I understand Sarasaeed.

Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
*hugs you back slightly tight* <3 I'm glad you understand..oh I would hug you anytime and wouldn't mind at all, last time someone hugged me was a year ago..
The problem with me is that I can never be happy on my own, it always takes someone special to bring real laughter to my heart..that someone is always far away though...
Reply
:icongrimmzimm:
grimmzimm Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
-holds you- Well I'll be here to bring you laughter whenever you want or need it.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
*smiles softly* hehe I'm happy you'd say that :heart: thank you it mean a lot <3
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontherand0martist:
TheRand0mArtist Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing, though if you cut yourself, you should really stop.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you, I try..
Reply
:iconhenekomarie:
HenekoMarie Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013
This poem is very well written. The only problem I see with it is that I would have prefer if you said, "don't want anybody" instead of "don't want nobody" But I suppose that is just a personal opinion.   You explained perfectly what it is like to feel the temptation to cut, and it isn't easy to write something that can really give a person a good understand of what someone else is feeling. I hope you get rid of that razor. Writing is how you should be getting those feelings out, not cutting. 
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you, I appreciate your opinion :)
And I hope my thinking will stay away from the razor with time..I felt the urge to do it last night but I held myself. thank you so much for your words <3
Reply
:iconsimonecristicchistuf:
SimoneCristicchiStuf Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hun, this was really well written. For many it can be the light in the dark showing them that the are not alone. For others it's a wakeup call that cutting is most often not for attention. It is a sickness that can not be dealt with on it's own. If you hear it calling again call or text someone that means a lot to you, you can even try going for a walk just to clear your head. That usually works for me. But you desperately need to get rid of all of your tools for self-harm. All of them. Then you need to find some form of regular help. Remember that we all love you just because you're you, and nobody would EVER want to lose you. Lots of lovins for you :) hang in there!!:iconfoxyayzplz: 
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much for your very kind and helping words :heart::heart: *hugs you* I've been feeling better after talking to that someone :) not about how I feel but he just make me feel good. I just really can't throw away my razor I know I will need it now or then when I'm alone or I will go crazy..
Reply
:iconsimonecristicchistuf:
SimoneCristicchiStuf Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You so very welcome deary, and baby steps, baby steps :)
Reply
:iconerin-cobra:
Erin-Cobra Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautifully creepy, you hit it right on the head - it is almost like the blades are talking you into it. I really hope you're feeling better, or that you do soon. It is really difficult quitting, have you tried the butterflies?
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah I've been feeling much better these past few days my thinking is far away from my razor, thank you a lot <3 what do you mean butterflies?..
Reply
:iconerin-cobra:
Erin-Cobra Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a method where you draw a butterfly (or other creature you like, I suppose) where you normally cut, and you're not allowed to 'hurt' it. How well it works can depend how easily the ink washes off, though. Glad you're feeling better, at any rate.
Reply
:iconphan5everx2:
Phan5everx2 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The butterfly project. You draw a butterfly where you hurt yourself and write the name of someone who wouldn't want you to do it. If you cut the butterfly, you kill it.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
That sounds a nice idea..I never heard of it, thank you for the info :)
Reply
:iconchrishatesyou:
ChrisHatesYou Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
I am at a loss for words...
<3 "Now cry cry, now laugh, like the psycho you are" Made me grin... I can relate...
Stay strong love 
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you..it's true that cry then laugh thing I feel crazy..
Thanks deary <3
Reply
:iconfearsofeverything:
fearsofeverything Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It made me sob. Dont do that, people care. Dont...please stop. I dont have experience with these issues, but stop. Try, hang in there. Just think good things, ok? It is worth it, trust me. You will be so happy if you stop. Think of your future
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for your words I really appreciate it <3 I've been feeling a lot of steps back form this issue these past 3 days :) thanks love
Reply
:iconfearsofeverything:
fearsofeverything Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem, hang in there
Reply
:iconimtiredgoaway:
ImTiredGoAway Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Student Writer
Oh my gosh. This made me cry. Please try to help yourself. It is a beautiful poem, words flow nicely...Hug 
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much deary! :heart: I will try
Reply
:iconimtiredgoaway:
ImTiredGoAway Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Student Writer
<3 Hang in there, don't give up

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:iconconstantmirror:
ConstantMirror Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013
I almost cried.  I understand.  Hang in there.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I'm sorry..and thank you <3
Reply
:iconmcmuertelf:
MCMuerteLF Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Student Writer
Here's a trick to avoid cutting: hide your razor from yourself. Throw it somewhere you won't find it or think about it so much, then get out of the house as much as possible.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks..I'm not allowed to get out of my house like taking a walk alone or something..
Reply
:iconsongs-of-black-roses:
Songs-of-black-roses Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Beautiful and true, but saddening because I have... So much empathy.
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you..
Reply
:iconbroken-mayhem17:
brOKen-Mayhem17 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013
Don't cut at all......
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
>_> It's a bad habit..
Reply
:iconbroken-mayhem17:
brOKen-Mayhem17 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013
I know...I do it to. But I've tried to stop. Is their anything you'd like to help you stop?
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Well..actually I've been cutting before but I stopped because I've made a promise for someone, only for a few months, but then I started cutting again because I just broke inside..this past month..has been really hard for me...
Reply
:iconbroken-mayhem17:
brOKen-Mayhem17 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013
I know what it's like. I'm really sorry.......:hug: is their anything I can do?
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Don't be sorry..I appreciate your trying to help, I duuno I just feel I wanna talk to somebody sometimes but not sure about what..or just like any topic
Reply
:iconbroken-mayhem17:
brOKen-Mayhem17 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013
Can you tell me exactly what your thinking right now?
Reply
:iconsarasaeed95:
SaraSaeed95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Right now..I feel bored which makes my thinking very confused and foggy..I just want to lay in my bed listen to sad/dark music and think..or just talk to myself..
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